How to Really Learn a Language Read online

  I also purchased many different bedtime story books in foreign languages and would read to her every night at bedtime. My wife would also spend a lot of time reading to Alia in English. At every possible opportunity, I would expose Alia to native speakers of different languages. When we played together, I would count in different languages, according to the schedule, and incorporate the numbers with each activity. Whenever I would rock her to sleep, I would count in whichever language we were working on.

  Many of our friends ridiculed us for attempting to teach Alia multiple languages. They claimed that we would only confuse her, and that she would have a hard time learning English. On the contrary, Alia thrived early on in her language skills. She started speaking at around 6 months. By the time she was 9 months old, she had already begun to read in English. Her first 10 words or so were in several different languages. By the time she was a year old, she could count to 10 in English, French, Arabic, Spanish, German, Mandarin, Italian, and Portuguese. By the time she was 2 years old she could read and speak basic symbols in Chinese. At 2 1/2, she memorized every single book and language DVD in her possession. During that time, she started sitting on my lap whenever I was studying foreign languages on my laptop and would usually take over the mousepad so that she could do the lessons instead.

  When Alia turned 3, she told us that she was bored and wanted to go to school. We tried to explain to her that she was too young, but she refused to understand the concept of age limitation. We ended up hiring our friend, Neil Edwards, a teacher who owns a local private school, to tutor her after hours. He would sit and read with her, as well as teach her basic mathematical concepts. After a few tutoring sessions, Neil told us that Alia was reading first grade level books. Neil did a great job working with Alia. Unfortunately, she became bored with her tutoring sessions after a few months and decided she didn’t want to continue.

  When Alia was 4, our bedtime stories, at her request, consisted of us reading from college level textbooks in Spanish, Portuguese, and Italian. Her intellect was at such a high level that new people we met would shockingly tell us that speaking with Alia was almost like speaking to an adult. At the same age, she once borrowed my wife’s tablet and sent messages to almost all of our contacts. Those who replied ended up being engaged in messaging sessions that lasted several hours. She would borrow Alicia’s phone and text me in English and in other languages while I was at work. She memorized every cartoon and movie that she would watch. She would speak to us on a level that often scared us, asking us deep philosophical questions about life, death, God, sickness, wealth, poverty, and anything else that popped into her still-developing mind.

  When Alia started school, her teachers and principals were amazed at her mental abilities. During kindergarten she was placed in an advanced reading class. In first grade, her test scores showed that she was reading at an eighth-grade level. Our night-time reading routines morphed into more advanced activities, primarily interpreting and sight-translating foreign language texts, as well as practicing dialogues from foreign language workbooks.

  The thing I feared, her becoming a passive multilingual, started happening sometime during kindergarten. She began to become very self-conscious and refused to speak in any foreign language in front of anyone besides me. At the time I’m writing this she is 8 years old, and foreign languages are reserved for private conversations between her and me only, primarily occurring at home. I hope that as she continues to mature, she will gain self-confidence and indifference to the opinions of others, and flourish in her language abilities. I knew from the beginning that one day she would make the choice as to whether or not she wanted to pursue language learning. I realize that it’s her choice, and I don’t plan on being the polyglot dictator like the parents whom I described at the beginning of this chapter, as I feel it may rob my children of creativity. Yes, I said children.

  After I became a certified court interpreter, my income increased drastically. I had never made a high level of income before and did not know how to handle money. I purchased an SUV for Alicia that cost us more per month than our mortgage payment. Soon thereafter, we built another house to better suit our desires. Right after we closed on the new house loan, we found out that we had a wonderful little surprise on the way.

  When Miah was born, I was still working two jobs. Since we had accumulated more expenses, my interpreting income still had to be supplemented somehow. When our expenses increased again with the cost of providing for a new child, I rented a small studio nearby our house and started giving language lessons. I also began to give guitar lessons out of our home and language lessons via Skype. In short, I filled my time with work. A few months after Miah was born, Alicia and I joined a network marketing business in hopes that our financial problems would go away. This resulted in me being home even less often.

  With the craziness of my new schedule, not being home much, I missed out on those valuable first few years with Miah. I tried to repeat the process that we followed with Alia, but it was impossible. On top of that, Miah was a different type of child. She had more energy than anyone I had ever met, and still does. She was more interested in physical activities than reading. In fact, she just recently sat still enough to let me read a book to her for the first time, at 6 years old.

  Miah kicked, twisted, turned, and danced inside the womb during almost the whole pregnancy. When she was born, it was as if she wasn’t going to let her underdeveloped body stop her from being active. She started lifting her head off the floor almost right away, was able to sit herself up at 2 months, and as soon as she figured out how to pull herself up to standing position in her crib, she learned to escape. We couldn’t keep any electronics in her room, such as the CD player that I was hoping to use to help her language skills, because she took everything apart. She was so interested in doing things with her hands. We would often walk into the living room to find video game system remotes stacked vertically on top one another, a feat that I still have difficulty with. She was so active that she refused to watch any of the language DVDs that we put on for her. It seemed like I was not going to be able to teach her languages after all. Probably the only advantage we did have was being able to expose Miah to native speakers of Spanish during our business building years, since most of our business partners and colleagues were Hispanic.

  When she was about 4 years old, Alicia and I finally overcame our financial situation after I decided to interpret full time. I was finally able to be home every evening and decided to reattempt teaching Miah. She didn’t like to sit in front of a computer and would not sit still long enough for me to teach her using flash cards or books. One day, I finally figured out a way to teach her languages. All she ever wants to do is play, so I decided to make language learning fun for her. Miah is very strong willed, so I had to be quite creative. I decided to teach her only Spanish for a while, since she was so resistant at first.

  When she realized we could have fun and learn Spanish at the same time, she began to learn rather quickly. I did teach her to count as well as to say some basic phrases in a few other languages, such as good morning, good night, and I love you, but she really likes “playing” with me in Spanish, so that’s what I’m developing in her until I feel like she’s ready to take on another language. I have no doubt that I will be able to teach her several other languages, provided I keep it fun and teach her based on how she wants to learn.

  The reason I wrote this chapter is because so many people have asked me how to teach their children foreign languages. Many more have expressed to me that the reason they are learning a new language is so they can teach their children. There are several obvious benefits that a child will have if they grow up knowing more than one language. If you are one of those parents who wishes for their child to grow up bilingual or multilingual, then the following is the best advice I can give.

  Make sure you expose your children to native speakers often. Also expose them to audios and videos of the language. If you are a native speake
r of the language you want your child to learn, speak to them in that language. They’ll learn it. If you’re not a native, but have attained almost perfect pronunciation, and sound like a native, then the same applies. If you are using videos, engage with your child. Participate. Make it fun. Always remember, just like I had to, that all kids are different.

  13 Grand Finale

  If you have made it this far, I personally thank you for taking the time to read this book. Most of the concepts taught in this book I learned from observing my children learn how to speak, many conversations and interviews I had with language learners of all ages, countless language lessons I’ve given over the years, as well as the simple observation that regardless of having studied one or more foreign languages, most people are still unilingual. My hope is that you will take the concepts in this book and apply them to learning one or more new languages. If you, like most people, have already had a bad or unsuccessful experience with any language, it’s ok to start over from scratch. At least by doing it in an effective way this time, you will be able to get the results you desire.

  To recap what has been covered, you must approach learning a new language in a similar fashion to the way you learned your first. You were exposed to the language in its authentic form, being produced by natives. You listened constantly, permeating your awareness with the sounds of the language. You used your perfectly capable human speech organs to gradually learn to reproduce the sounds you heard while being coached by natives. Eventually you were able to sound like a native speaker. After building your fluency to a degree, you learned how to read and write the sounds that you had been speaking. You also learned the basics of grammar and continued upon a path of literal development until you eventually reached a point of mastery, in other words, a native-like fluency.

  I believe that this is possible for anyone to achieve in a second, third, or even tenth language. I’ve not only experienced it myself, but I’ve witnessed other people achieve the same. If you find yourself struggling with believing that you too are able to become bilingual or multilingual, sounding like a native in each language, then I encourage you to dig deep within yourself. Don’t believe what many unilingual “experts” say. Most of the so-called reasons, or what I call excuses as to why adults can’t learn foreign languages without an accent are simply that. The truth is you can learn any language you want. You can learn to speak like a native if you approach the language in the right order. It may take lots of work, but that’s ok. The accomplishment will be well worth it.

  I’m not sure what caused you to pursue learning a foreign language. Maybe you want to travel. Maybe you want a promotion. For me, it was simply something I stumbled upon, and quickly developed into a passion. Learning languages has opened my eyes to see through cultural walls, which many times cause so much conflict. I was raised in a society in which foreign immigrants are looked down upon and criticized. I unknowingly grew up with a bit of racism within me. That began to change once I started learning foreign languages from natives.

  One night on the job at the turkey plant, I was having a conversation with a Hispanic migrant worker. He explained to me that he had left his wife and kids in his home country more than five years prior and hadn’t seen any of them since. He worked 6–7 days a week, 8–10 hours per day making minimum wage. He lived in a single-wide trailer with three or four other migrant workers and sent almost all of his money back home to support his family. In the U.S. he lived as meager a lifestyle as possible so that his family, which he wasn’t even around, could survive.

  I came home from work that night in tears. I couldn’t believe how wrong my mindset had been about Hispanics and their culture. They are a self-sacrificing, family-oriented, humble, and hard-working people. Had I not learned Spanish, I might never have learned that. Similar things have happened with other languages. I was taught growing up that most Arabs are full of hatred towards Americans, and most wanted to even kill us all. Once I began learning Arabic and making friends with Arabs, I found that not to be the case. They are people just like you and me. They have families, feelings, dreams, ambitions, and fears. Sure, their religion may differ from mine or yours, but that doesn’t make the stereotypes you hear about them true.

  I could list many more examples of experiences that I’ve had with native speakers from different parts of the world. With each foreign person I befriended, more preconceived prejudices about their cultures were dispelled. On my first trip to Switzerland, one of my friends watched me interact with people from at least nine different countries. He mentioned to me that it was amazing how they opened up to me once I started speaking their language with them. He even recommended that I write a book called How to Befriend a Nation. That conversation has stuck with me over the years.

  I could go on and on about racism and overall hatred of other cultures. The thing I’ve come to learn is we are all people, and language is one thing that unites people. I believe that if more people were to learn foreign languages, ultimately embracing the culture of the people who speak them, more and more cultural boundaries would come down. There would be less conflict between cultures that simply don’t understand one another. I’m not saying that I believe this philosophy could ultimately heal the world and end all wars, but it certainly could help.

  Regardless of your reasons for learning one or more new languages, I encourage you to keep going no matter how tough it may seem at times. Don’t let yourself become discouraged. Don’t accept that it is impossible, or even improbable, for you to reach your goal of achieving native-like fluency. Always remind yourself that the fact that you can read this means you are a language master. You’ve done it before. You can do it again.

  Thankyou for reading!! Please don’t forget to leave a review on Amazon and subscribe to my mailing list at www.howtoreallylearnalanguage.com